Hot and Slim

Hot and Slim

I’m not sure why I keep trying these slimming patches when I know the only thing that really works is diet and exercise. But hope springs eternal…

This abdominal fat sheet pack tempted me, but it was a total non-starter. I was hoping I would be able to apply it and get on with other things, but it was as wet as a normal sheet mask for the face so not suitable for wearing under clothes.

My real disappointment, however, was – despite what it says on the packet – this was absolutely not hot. It was cold and clammy, and my skin remained so for ages after I removed it.

On the positive side, the fact that it had a cute hole for the belly button did make me smile.

Aroma Slim

Category : Beauty

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More ‘slimming’ aids, these supposedly for your legs…

The magic ingredients here seem to be the aroma of grapefruit and ‘negative air ion relax’ – although what this means and how they get it into the product I have no idea. Tree vinegar, germanium and tourmaline also figure as major components in what look rather like small pouches full of powder.

Sticky plasters are provided to attach these to your legs for up to 6 hours, which is neither long enough for a proper night’s sleep nor short enough for an evening home spa session. As it turned out, the plasters pulled uncomfortably on my skin, the pouches were just bulky enough to feel very awkward, and I ended up removing them in the early hours of the morning.

These were definitely not a success!

Hippo Patch

Category : Beauty

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There’s no real way to lose weight apart from eating less and exercising more, but there’s also an irresistible appeal about anything that promises an easier option.

Besides, the artwork on this slimming patch, with the cute hippo transformed from sad to svelte, made me laugh. ‘The God of Patches. Bye-bye to excess fat’, says the blurb on the back. When you read the instructions carefully, you see that this product simply smooths and moisturises, to cool and firm the skin, so actual inch loss will be in your imagination.

But never mind, it was only HK$18 so had to be worth a try.

In practice, this patch was less amusing, probably because it is supposed to remain in place for 8 hours. And as it is a hydrogel patch, it is very wet and slippery, so it needs to be secured to your stomach with a large adhesive cover almost identical to a wound dressing.

I put this on at bedtime, and swiftly found myself in some discomfort. The patch seemed to heat up, and was unpleasantly damp and sweaty under the dressing. I did not sleep especially well, and in the morning found the whole thing very difficult to remove. The dressing disintegrated into annoying shreds which had to be peeled off individually, leaving a sticky residue on my skin.

And of course there was no discernible improvement… I won’t be buying any more of these.

Slimming Perfume

Category : Beauty

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No, I’m serious…

This was the highlight of the In-Flight Shop magazine on a Singapore Airlines flight to Mumbai. It was an ‘exclusive’, I was seriously tempted, but was forced to be sensible by my long-suffering husband. Still, I took photos, which I present here for your entertainment.

The product, Prends-Moi (which is French for ‘Take Me’), is supposed to stimulate fat burning through lipolytic action. You fancy a naughty snack, you spray it on, endorphins are released which make you feel happy and you lose the urge to snack. This is the principle of neurocosmetics, or so the advert claims.

I do not pretend to understand the chemistry behind this, and very much doubt that a quick spray of perfume would deter me from raiding the fridge if I really wanted to. I would also imagine that using it 4 or 5 times a day as recommended would swiftly use up your S$69 pair of 50ml bottles, and buying more would leave you with a lot less cash to spend on edible treats.

But it would be lovely to be proved wrong, so if anyone out there actually bought this and believes that it works – please let me know!